Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Beer is the Reason: the Return of SSX?


Beer is the reason: EA execs thinking of bringing back from their now defunct brand "EA BIG" the greatest snowboard supercross game ever?


It's been awhile but with everyone else blogging about Rememberance Day, (wear the red poppies people!), I decided I should post about something they fought to defend, my right to play awesome SSX games. Eat it Shaun White, you can't touch Elise! One of the greatest series I've ever played, continued playing and still playing even though the graphics look like crap on an HDTV. For years we railed against EA for not releasing a new SSX on the current gen consoles and no the Wii version doesn't count. Controls weren't fun there at all. Then there was an ad in one of their other games with a fake radio ad saying that SSX riders were heading up the mountain. Well that didn't pan out as no new game came out. Now we have multiple website urls being registered by supposedly EA with the name SSX Deadly Descent or some derivative. Am I stoked? Hell yes! It's time to hit some powder literally and digitally soon and that's going to be awesome!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Beer is the Reason: You go China Bus!

Beer is the Reason: chinese traffic engineers rule!

Check this out. Where do most of those traffic accidents involving cars running people over come from? China. Traffic congestion? China(well....Beijing) So how do we alleviate this? We don't! We add MORE traffic and not just any traffic but a giant car/bus/truck swallowing monster bus on the population! Woot! Popcorn, beer and lawn chair is all I need to be entertained now!

Oh and China Blog Spammers, I hope you get no....I KNOW you'll get run over by this thing. Karma's going to be a bitch eh?


http://gizmodo.com/5602810/chinas-3d-express-coach-buses-will-be-able-to-drive-over-other-cars

This blog has been unofficially brought to you by Singtao.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Beer is the Reason: You too can be a Scaramanga


Beer is the reason: you too can make Scaramanga jealous.

Unable to transport your gun through all those x-ray machines, metal detectors and whatnot spoiling your dastardly fun? No more because now you can hide it as a giant metallic cube! Just tell those no-good x-ray technicians its the Jenga for the uber rich and that their peasant hands wouldn't understand it. Or it's a cool version of Tetris re-imagined in 3D. Everything in 3D nowadays right?

This massive metal brick can be disassembled and then reassembled into the dream weapon of the inconspicuous spy. Or you can use it to brain someone but that up to you.

Call now and you can have this item on hand for thwarting all those do-gooders who insist on fouling your plans for world domination.

E-Vile operators are standing by.

Sharks with fricken lasers will be avaialbe next year.





http://gizmodo.com/5599552/this-is-a-gun

Monday, July 12, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Comment pwnd bitches!!!

Beer is the Reason: approved comments only!

Enough is enough. Even with WordID on these damned Chinese spammers still manage to comment on my blog. Well no more! From now on only comments "I" approve will show on the blog. Yes this is less fun and I would prefer to not use that feature but if that's the only way to pwn those damn communist assholes then hell yes this is what I'm going to do.



育隆 has left a new comment on your post "Beer is the Reason: I want the one with the large...":

蛛絲馬跡皆學問、落花水面皆文章............................................................

Publish this comment.

Reject this comment.


Moderate comments for this blog.

Posted by 育隆 to Beer is the Reason at July 11, 2010 9:40 PM

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Toy Story 3 - buzz killer

Beer is the Reason: Toy Story 3 = death to any plans of debauchery.

So Saturday night, after work went out to watch Toy Story 3 and then figured that I could then go drinking, get wasted and hit on women who get more beautiful as the drinks go on. Yup. That was the plan.

Toy Story 3 was SO FREAKING HEART WARMINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

The story was awesome, the life lessons were wrenching, and Ken's Dream Mansion. My god, why the hell did Barbie ever leave him?! Even if he IS an accessory.

That movie leaves you with such a warm pure feeling any thoughts of being disgusting and lecherous just makes one feel .... bad.

DAMN YOU TOY STORY 3! DAMN YOU!

This blog has been brought you by Pixar-cool aid...cause that's all I drank on Saturday night. Damn you!!!

And DAMN YOU Chinese spam commenters! I will keep deleting your f'ing comments

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Limer makes some suckyface!

Beer is the Reason: Muppets + Facetime + Apple employee = trippy!

Can this be better then Ben Fold's Chatroulette? Of course it can!



Apple employees use Facetime on the beach. Lazy bastards!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Peachez Panties!

Beer is the reason: Nintendo 3DS

Awesome new tech from Nintendo! Handheld portable with 3D capabilities without having to wear those ridiculous 3D glasses! Gyroscope! Widerscreen! Ooohhhh!!! Drool on Ninty fanboys drool on!

Aw screw it. You just know this is all they're going to use this thing for.

http://www.cad-comic.com/

Friday, June 4, 2010

Bored at work

Nothing to do with beer. Just found something that's old that should be probably deleted off the internet but since I'm pretty damn sure he doesn't remember his password CAN'T!!! Haha!!!

http://webhome.idirect.com/~jsinb/

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Beer is the reason: gLeek flash mobs!

Beer is the reason: Dancing flash mobs should be banned!

My god, don't these people realize that spreading joy through dancing flash mobs is wrong? Think of all the miserable people who's lives don't break out into a song and dance spectacle at the drop of the hat. You're making them MORE miserable!

Hmmm.....they should do this in front of Toronto City Hall and the hq for the TTC then. Damn politicians should be made to suffer!



Oh and next week is the Madonna tribute episode! Sue Sylvester does Vogue!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Ben Fold copies Merton!

Beer is the Reason: Sue that infringer Ben Folds! How dare he copy the brilliance of Merton on Chatroulette!

Oh wait....they're still the same person! Riiiggghhhttttt. I'm onto you Ben Fo...Merton. It's you! We all know it's you!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Thanks for coming!



Click on the vid to go to youtube. So awesome the fullscreen experience can't be contained on a blog!

Brought to you by Kratos.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Ben Fold on Chatroulette??

Beer is the Reason: Chatroulette was invented.

Think it was on a cold Russian night that some teen there decided that he had enough Borscht and wanted to Chat with complete strangers and show them his penis. It was an awesome service until some loser in a hoodie decided to sing songs about the people he connected with. WTF. Chatroulette is about Penis's!(Penii?)

HoodedMan the Chatroulette police are after you!!



Update: HoodedMan says he's Merton not Ben Fold. Riigggghhhht. Sure you you are B..."Merton".

This post has been unofficially brought to you by: Baltika! In Russia Beer do YOU!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Beer is the Reason: OK GO!

Beer is the reason: they must've thought these videos over a beer. I would've.

Also OK GO! Has left EMI because EMI wouldn't let fans embed OK GO! videos on personal blogs. Dumb especially since the viral videos have helped sell the bands songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTAAsCNK7RA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJKythlXAIY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E4wL2JiuJs

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Media white washing begins!


Beer is the Reason: we can turn a cocaine possession charge, a DUI and speeding from a criminal sentence(drug posssion) to a $500 fine and a slap on the wrist.

Whoo hoo!! If my many years of watching TV/Movie law a new precedent has been made! Ex MP Jaffer pleads off Drug possession and DUI into just a speeding ticket!

New CDN Law Precedent!

So if any of us ever get caught DUI and for some reason with some mysterious white powder while speeding we can just cite Jaffers case and get off with a paltry $500 fine instead of going into the slammer! Score!!

Oh yeah, and the media white washing begins:
Political white washing? Nah!

Unfair!

We're not incompetent! Really! Can't say anymore then that.

Blah blah blah...

Okay I'm tired of looking up stuff about this tool. So from now on I'm calling anyone who get's away with drug possession a "Jaffer". It's what all the cool kids are doing.

This blog has been brought to you by: whatever those two beers he chugged down before getting this turned into a media circus.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Calculator Jokes


Beer is the Reason: turn back that flux capacitor to 1984!

because I'm in the mood for some cool jokes(for five year olds)!

In nineteen 69 Dolly Partons Doctor said her Tits were 2 2 2 Big. So he gave her 51 Pills to take 8 Times a day, and when she woke up in the morning she became BOOBLESS.

A nineteen-year-old boy (19) and a nineteen-year-old girl (1919) got together in Room 18 (191918) for half an hour (191918.5). They did it twice (191918.5 x 2). What did they get? 383837

They did it three more times (383837 +3). What did they say afterwards? 383840

Hur hur hur.

Those were the raunchy ones. Go here for some nerdy ones.

This blog has been brought to you unofficially by >>>> Light.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Beer is the Reason: HBC Olympic gear...FAIL!

Beer is the reason: HBC execs don't have a supply contingency for popular Olympic gear

HBC: Red into Gold!
http://www.ctvolympics.ca/news-centre/newsid=48285.html#marketing+red+turns+into+gold

Fools Gold more like it! Sure it makes sense to send all remaining stock to Vancouver, we don't want HBC Van to look understocked with swag but there has not been ANY of the popular items in all of T.O. for over a week at HBC and Zellers and guess what, HBC employees have said that no new stock was expected, except Hockey sweaters/jerseys. WTF. Team Canada Hockey gear can be found every single f'ing year! Team Canada Olympic gear for an Olympic HOSTED in CANADA and there's not enough for the entire country from a company founded in Canada??! FAIL HBC! FAIL!

Oh and CTVOLYMPICS.CA won't let me register to post that comment. YOU FAIL TOO CTVOLYMPICS!

This post has been unofficially brought to you by the beer of the Olympics.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Hahaha! WTH Health Canada!!? NSFW


Beer is the Reason: The Sperminator.

Health Canada's flash game to teach "mature" teens on sex safety. Bunch of questions and if you answer wrong you get....um...jizzed on.

http://www.healthunit.com/sectionList.aspx?sectionID=378


This post has been brought to you but whatever it was that HC was drinking I want some! LOL!!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Men's Mogul GOLD!


Woohoo! Great run for Alexandre Bilodeau! Vindication against that evil bastard Dale Begg Smith! Go Canada!

So glad Dale didn't win. Don't really mind that he now ski's for another country but the fact that he made millions by being a king of malware. So SUCK IT DBS! Go Bilodeau! Wooo!!!!!!!

Drink up tonight y'all!

Beer is the reason: Olympics...watching sports I would never otherwise watch

Beer is the reason: for non-mainstream sports.

Go Canada! Go Heil! Go half Canadian Mogul winner!(You suck!) Nah just kidding. Kramer did a great job coming down that hill, so I can't fault her for winning but damn I wanted Heil to win. Oh wait, she did. She won Silver. A truly positive spin on a good outcome. She's truly Canadian, humble and positive but you know what it's not Canada's medal. It's your medal and we all bask it your accomplishment but it's not enough. Canada's medal will be when one of our athletes win's Gold on home turf. We wanted it to be you Jen but it didn't happen.

Neither did it in Short track speed skating. That's another sport I wouldn't watch regularly. Love boarding down the mountains, I like skating but if I ever say these events on tv would I pause to watch them? Not likely. But here in Olympic mania these events become awesome. Full day of events and I practically sat glued to the tv. Watching a Canadian and a 1/2 climb the women's Mogul podium was great but the greatest thrill? Short track speed skating men's final. Three Koreans, two Americans, a couple others and the Canadian. I don't care what the commentators were saying but it sure looked like the Koreans were racing as a team for the better part of the race, which is strictly forbodden, until the end. It was a commanding 1-2-3 placement until the last turn. One of them tried to cut in the inside and BAM! CONTACT! Two go down and the Americans(followed by the Canadian) suddenly get on the podium with the silver and bronze. Never saw that coming. It just became interesting.

Can't wait for Curling.

So go Olympic sports! Sports that no one cares about for every four years until you show! Raise the awareness of these sports and bask in the glory! For you have 16 days of action until your next 4 your hiatus.

This has been unofficially brought to you by Lager. Drink up!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Word plays


Beer is the Reason: English is a fluid language.

So last night I was chilling with a bunch of friends over a few beers when we got to discussing long distance relationships. Blah blah blah....and somebody says, "that's so gay". Bam! One of us takes offense to that. She immediately wants him to clarify what he means by using that word in that manner. This leads to discussions of how the word isn't used to denigrate gay people but as a synonyms to mean lame. This lead to the argument that gay people would find that offensive but the counterpoint was gay people have been known to call things gay, in a derogatory way, themselves. Gay in old english originally meant nice, which has been appropriated to mean two male partners to now being known as lame, sorta. It's an interesting phenomenon. The discussion then went to how the word "nice" used to refer to ladies of the night to now mean ...nice. How "terrific" used to be Terror-fying or how "awesome" was slackjawed agape faces....etc etc etc. So is there any other current words that have originally meant one thing to have been appropriated to mean something else. I'm sure there's lots. Nigga' doesn't count, too easy. Nice try though.

Obviously I've got no scientific research to back any of this up, all of this heard from drunken people so could be complete and utter BS. Oh and it's marketing fault that there's a new dictionary every year. Business wise I understand why they would do that otherwise why/how could they stay in business? It's a dictionary!

I'm just awaiting works like Fuck-tards or Unfriend or other stupid internet words to make it into.....

Oh wait, they have. We're all doomed.

This blog has unofficially been brought to you by Tankhouse and Indian Pale Ale.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Beer is the reason: Principal's Awesome letter! PTA sucks!

Beer is the reason: Principal getting screwed by teacher.

For once someone is calling it like they see it. So instead of being all PC about children being fragile little things, the principal writes a joke letter and since a stupid or vindictive teacher sends it home and guess what a "helicopter" parent gets it and brings the crazy wroth of the PTA stay at home lazy ass parents on him. Let's put it in perspective, if your kid is stupid they should be in a general school. If your has a disability, say nut allergy or some disorder, then deal with it. Why should the rest of the class be held back because they need to be accommodated? Once they're out of school they're screwed. I'm eating my PB&J sandwich in their face if they sit beside me and I won't move. Go crying home to mama wussy boy.

This is why we need more Sue Sylvesters in real life.

"Dear Parents,

Turn off the TV for once and pay attention.

Regarding math:

The math we do is really easy. If your child is either too lazy or too stupid to finish it in class, I'm sending it home so that you can work with them and judge for yourself whether it is laziness or idiocy that inhibits your child's progress. We do part of it in class. How on earth they can NOT finish it is beyond me, but please help them with the part that we do NOT do in class. If your child is one of the mediocre few who excels on the homework, please congratulate them with a warm handshake or perhaps a halfhearted high-five, since finishing this homework is the equivalent of a twenty-year-old wanting to be congratulated for knowing how to tie his shoes.

Regarding Field trip lunches:
We have a peanut allergy in our room and a few in second grade in general. Because of this, everyone must eat nut-free foods. We also have a child who is mourning their puppy who got run over last week by a garbage truck, so we ask that no one wear anything resembling puppy fur, or that is red and flat. Further, one of our students has a nervous tick that causes him to slap himself in face several times a minute. In order to help this child not feel conspicuous, we ask that your child imitate a crazed masochist for the length of this field trip."

This post has been unofficially brought to you by how Ron Sterr "C"'s it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Beer is teh reason: Message from the future: iPhone

Beer is the reason: Make it so!

Captain Jean-Luc Picard uses an iPhone for the future betterment of mankind and the Federation.

Why don't you?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Beer is the Reason: Adobe's Rebuttal to iPad



Beer is the reason: Adobe says iPad bad because it has no Bang Bros.

....
.
..
...


Okay. They've got a point. Who can argue with no porn?

Beer and chicken. Chicken and Porn. Porn and internet. Internet and Flash. Flahs and Adobe. Yup. Porns gotta be there.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Beer is the reason: iPad is it for you?

iPad from Woodrow Jang on Vimeo.



Well it's been a few days since the coming of the iPad. Let's get it out right now. That is the stupidest name Apple has come out with for this product. Beyond that let's explore exactly what it isn't.

It's not a full fledged laptop. For Apple to undercut their own laptop lines would not make any business sense.

It's not the iPhone/iTouch though it share many of it's characteristics, except for the phone and camera portions.

It's a closed OS that restricts you from playing with it's internals, like the iPhone/iTouch. Expect that to be jailbroken once devs get ahold of it.

What is it then? The iPad is a closed electronic device, much like the PSP or the DS in that yes you can install/insert programs but only Manufacturer approved products. No one bemoans Sony/Nintendo that but complains when Apple does it. Apple is doing the exact same thing with the App store. Every piece of software that the above three mentioned companies approve for their device guarantees that it will work and you won't have to worry about compatibility issues. Like a phone, tv, car, you pick up the item turn it on and expect instant usability. Apple's iPad was made, in this ever complex world to simplify and distill your user experience to something enjoyable.

Sure we'll have the open source guys, the tech nerds, gadget geeks complaining and moaning how they can get a full feature laptop running XXX OS system for less. There is no arguement there what they say is true. I sure as heck would have added some USB ports and a camera to the device to give it more functionality. Truthfully this is a Apple's MO. They'll come out with a revision next year with these options. As a business they need to fund R&D somehow and they product that they have put out isn't that bad. On the other had if you want to hear some negative words ask me about the iPhone 3G vs 3GS.

What we are getting from Apple with the iPad is exactly what people have been asking for. Let's ignore all the techy people out there who can and will dive into a computers guts. What are the responses non-tech people give you when you ask them what exactly are they buying a computer for. The most common answers are, "Internet. Email. Office suite. Playing a little games on the side". Let's include some extras like music, photos, and watching videos/movies. So what does the iPad do? Internet. Check. Email. Check. Office suite(iWorks). Check. Games. Game Apps-check. Music. Check. Photos. Check. So far it does what the layman essentially wants,a stripped down computer that does all of the above without having to learn what DLL's are virus problem or worse. Tech-savvy people should be praising this device because what it's going to do is give you back your weekends. No more, "Hi it's Mom/Dad/GF/BF/Parrot/Ape. My PC doesn't work. Can you come fix it?" calls anymore. That should be a plus in and of itself.

So why are the armchair tech pundits on the bloggerspheres calling this a failure? Well it's because it's too simple and doesn't do what THEY want. This is the exact same argument they used when the iPods and iPhones came out. Not enough features. Too simple. Not complicated enough so that laymen couldn't use it so techs are the only recourse for people when they don't get how to use it. Well we all know how that ended and who's the undisputed champion of the personal music player. People like gadgets that just work. No fancy instructions, no pre-startup rituals. Just pick up and go.

It all boils down to keeping things simple and simple is exactly what people like my parents need.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Tron 2.0. Unconfirmed Daft Punk track


Real? Fake? I don't care. It's awesome! Like when Stan Bush's the Touch comes out you know it's Optimus Primes music they should make this my background music. And I can get the funky light cycles that can make solid walls on bad drivers. That would be even more awesome. Oh and Flynn Lives!

Beer is teh reason: A Frucci: iPad no like Flash?


Beer is the reason: Flash should die!

By now, if you know me, I have hated flash with a vengence for years. Resource hog, stupid use for ridiculous menus, impossible to update without redesigning wholes sites, etc etc etc. Finally because of the iPad, awesomely STUPID name for Apple's new tablet, people are realizing this.

Gizmodo:
http://gizmodo.com/5458645/adobe-responds-to-the-ipads-lack-of-flash
The main arguments against Flash running on the iPad are that it's a resource hog and a security risk. Both true! Hopefully the web is moving away from relying on Flash for videos and ugly menus, with HTML5 acting as a more-than-adequate replacement. But we're not there yet. While I can appreciate the fact that Apple is trying to keep the iPad more stable by not including Flash, the fact that it kills off most online gaming and video streaming in the process makes the tradeoff questionable. [Adobe]


Kill Flash, Apple! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Beer is teh reason: Apple Tablet today?

Beer is the reason: Apple works up geek community into a frothing mass of consumerist zombies!

So we've been inundated for the last week(s) with speculation about the magical new piece of hardware that will redefine the way we live forever.

Maybe.

I prefer this analogy. Apple = Transformers. Media frenzy = Michael Bay. Optimus Prime = New magical toy. Now watch this video.